What does the Bible say?

Aristotle has rightly said, “A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies”! What a great assessment of the humans on earth. Abraham, the father of 3 nations, is called “the friend of God” (James 2.23). The Psalmist has said long ago that. God does not hesitate to make his covenant known to his friends.(Ps.25.14). Jesus, the Word incarnate had a friend in Bethany-Lazarus (John.11.11).Jesus was nicknamed by his critics as “ the friend of tax collectors and sinners”.(Matt.11.19;Lk.7.34). Love is defined by Jesus as the willingness of the one “to lay down his life for his friends” (John.15.13).

We are also cautioned by the Scriptures that the friendship with the world is enmity with God (Jam.4.4) and that wealth brings many friends (Prov.19.4). Therefore the prophet Micah has warned us “not to trust in a friend” for he/she could easily betray us in times of adversity. It is possible to bequeath the legacy of friendship to the future generation. The classic example is found in the story of relationship between David and Jonathan (2Sam.9). The abiding value of friendship between David and Jonathan is seen when David, the King asked,” Is there still anyone left of their house of Saul to whom I may show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?(2 Samuel 9.1). The reply of David to Mephibosheth, the crippled son of Jonathan in 2 Samuel 9.7,” I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan” could be considered as the immortal words of human bonding in relationship.

Friendship as a noun is neutral. As a verb, it carries human and divine bonding. It is the relationship that makes life something beautiful for God. Online social networking services like Orkut, Facebook etc. strengthen human bonding. To meet a person in his physical presence makes a difference. We should never be satisfied with substitutes or alternatives. The spiritual bonding makes life qualitatively different. When the “I” is substituted by "We”, friendship is born. If a person is ego-centric, it is very difficult for the seed of friendship to germinate and blossom.

Warmth of friendship
It is possible to make friendship. But to keep it growing, one has to learn the art of life. If a lamp is to be kept burning, one has to pour oil into it. It a plant is to bear fruit, it requires sunlight, water and maure. The ideal conditions have to be fulfilled for any kind of growth. Love for each other and seeking the common ground of interests are required. The other should feel that he/ she will be with me in times of joy and sorrow. Mahatma Gandhi wrote in Young India, “Adversity is the crucible in which friendship is tested”. Yes, “the friend in need is a friend indeed”! The human bonding is stronger than blood relations. The relationship between the two could be fortified through communication and visit. A letter or a telephone call makes a difference. A photograph taken and kept in one’s Album carries a sense of spiritual bonding. There are several ways of keeping the friendship grow stronger and stronger. Each one has to discover and appropriate them whether it is through online social networking service or other means.

Friendship with seniors
I am a person who has benefited much from my friendship with seniors. As I look back (I am now 68), I remember with gratitude to God for several senior people across religious divide with whom I had maintained contact through letters and personal visits. I could now remember dozens of people who are 10 years older than I am.. Several of them had exerted tremendous influence on my life through their fellowship, advice and care. Many of them are no more with us in their physical bodies. I have a habit to look at their faces in my Album. An Album is a scroll of remembrance.

The legacy of family friendship could also be made alive through contacts. The narration of old stories and sharing of ideas with the members of the family are effective means.. There are several ways of making one’s the family tie stronger. The annual family get-together and sending greetings on special occasions are means of making the social bond attractive. But remember the words of Mumford who said, “God gives us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends”

It is indeed great to remember the departed friends with an obituary note. It would be a great service to the future generation if such persons are remembered with love and affection. The noble ideals for which one stood are bequeathed to others in a sense of humility. The Seer of Sirach reminds us, “Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers in their generations”…People will declare their wisdom” (44.1, 15a).