It is of paramount importance that this particular title was one of the selected theme of a youth movement group which adduced beyond any reasonable doubt that our faithful already started discerning the awareness of a staggering exigency to address such important subjects so as to better equip themselves in dealing with the yeomen's task of molding a better future generation. This awareness is solemn and lofty, though however late, I console, 'late is better than never.' I felt it should benefit those who could not attend that meeting and hence this essay in nut a shell.

While dealing with Baptism for those coming back from heresies, St. Cyprian says, "For one cannot receive anything from nothing," Hudaya Canon Chapter 2:1. St. Irenaeus in his 2nd book, 'Adversus haereses' corroborates the same idea, "Men, indeed, are not able to make something from nothing, but only from existing material," Article 199, "Faith of the early fathers," by W A Jurgens.) Evidently, many right thinking people feel the same way our venerable fathers said. Equally so, the right minded people of our times genuinely perceive that the situation is really out of control. A few decades ago New York Times reported that 'Christianity would be extinct from the face of the earth once Christians start reconciling with the world order and in Sept 96 it claimed that its prediction has already come true.' We exist as Christians only so long as we wrestle against the world order. "You are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you," John 15:19. Jesus said, "I have overcome the world," John 16:33. "World is enmity with God," James 4:4. St Paul exhorts, "Do not be conformed to this world," Rom 12:2. St John exhorts, "Do not love the world," 1 John 2:15. "For, our citizenship is in heaven," says St Paul, Phil 3:20. These do not mean that Christians are removed from all the realities of social life and awareness in this world, but that they are to desist from the temptations of luxuries that can preclude them inheriting heavenly bliss and to effectively enjoy the bond of peace and happiness in Christ. This would mean that as Christians we ought to hold fast the principles of morality, ethics, faith, hope and love to conform to the standards set forth by our Savior Jesus Christ, Apostles and their bonafide successors.

The question is how far we are able to keep up the standards in our practical personal daily life in the changed present context. Many are caught up in a dilemma. On one side they want to enjoy all pleasures and amenities available around without least judging how their mediocre interests would affect their growing offspring and on the other side they expect very high standards of morale and ethical behavior patterns from the children, without imparting any. The simple principle would be that if you do not instill good thought and manners in them when they are able to imbibe, do not expect also good things when they are able to impart. For, no one can give out what he/she did not take in. In other words, if parents are to genuinely expect good morale and ethical output when the children are grown up they ought to have taught worthy examples for them to emulate when they were children. Thus the burden to bear the brunt of all the outpouring acts of good and evil by the children rests upon the practical life style of parents; for the old adage, 'treat the mother for the infant's sickness' is quite apt in this case.

One cannot ignore that we are put up in a very hostile situation and potentialities of nurturing good morale and ethical Christian values in our children are very bleak which reality itself impels us to be very cautious. To illustrate:

1.	One talk show (Sally) on 4.18.97 revealed that many American parents are in the grip of divorce due to the disruptive and erratic behavior of the teenage children.
2.	"An average person sees 9230 actual or implied sex acts in a year on TV, of which 81% come from soap operas and 94% are of extra marital affairs. A teenager from 8 to 18 years would see approximately 75000 illicit sex acts during the span of ten years," 'Here is life' by San Bernado 1987.
3.	"An average third grader spends 900 hours in school in a year but he spends 1170 by watching TV, i.e. more than 3 hours daily," News Week Oct 1.1990."

This alludes that children are spending more time on TV than in school. Bernard Hoffman, a national expert on youth and violence says, "Violence almost become way of life because people answer not by talking but by taking instant actions. Media has been glamorizing violence in movies, TV, video and computer games. Hollywood makes violence more acceptable to children. Before a child finishes elementary school he/she has watched about 8000 murders and more than 100,000 acts of violence. By the time the same child turns 18, he/she has watched more than 18000 TV murders...and makes it appears as an acceptable, even normal, way to solve problems.

Today more and more children are left unsupervised... children develop a distorted reality. Hard work ethic is slipping away. Nationwide 4 to 10 million children have been abused. More than half of such children commit violent crimes. Over 12 million American children have mental problems. If not treated, you run the risk of child erupting into violence," Bucks County Courier times dated May 7. 1997. Many would not admit, yet, the fact is that most of our kids are now products of TV culture and indubitably parents are mainly, if not fully, responsible to this appalling trend and many are weeping over the spilt milk. These statistics may not directly relate to our community in full save a few isolated instances here and there but we cannot ignore the situation at any rate. Time is ripe, however, if not too late, to awake from the deep slumber many are in, and take precautionary steps against such impending calamities that might befall and take heavy toll on our flamboyant life style. It is hearty sign; at least some section of our community captured the magnitude of the situation and began seriously pondering over the ways and means of reparation and reversal to the basics.

A few years ago, a friend of mine bought a bedroom set elegantly packed in a corrugated carton. He brought it home and started assembling. Even after many hours frantic efforts he could not make it to the manufacturer's specifications. Some parts and handful of accessories were in excess. Finally he came to senses that he could not complete the project. He called me for help. I went there only to find a big mess. I sat with him and showed him how to assemble, following step by step from the manufacturer's instruction manual. It worked out very easy and he was happy. In this case his problem was his over confidence about his own ability; I call it pride. He did not care to consult the instruction manual, as was supposed to, I call it neglect or even defiance. The result was dismay and failure. The same or similar situation happens in family life also. Who knows best about family relationships and duties of each one in it, as ought to be, better than the one who designed and established family?

Adam sinned against the will of God that caused him the loss of Paradise, constituting the first ever 'divorce' or separation from God. Adam realized his folly and damage that followed. He felt insecure and devastated and realized the futility of his existence without God and decided to reconcile with God hoping to regain the promised paradise, thus began to worship God, Gen 4:26. God in His abundant and unfathomable mercy, promised Adam re-entry into the lost paradise, by the redeeming sacrifice of His only begotten Son, as the "Seed of woman" Gen 3:15. God designed a sublime plan to bring out the "Seed of the woman" who would execute the task of redemption. He named this plan 'marriage and family.' He wrapped and bound Adam and Eve as husband and wife with His love, that was 'His best for their best.' St. Augustine says, "Love is a movement of mind directed towards God." 'The opposite of love is not hate but lust that is also a movement of mind directed against God.' When Adam saw Eve for the first time he exclaimed, "Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh," Gen 2: 23. Adam had no better word to express his exuberance and sense of oneness as he saw Eve. He found bliss and endless exultation in her presence and enjoyed pinnacle of divine love and never again felt lonely. So when husband and wife come together in mutual commitment of sincere love and care, there begins the paradise on earth and heaven rejoices. He established the family in His own image and likeness of love as the first alternative to the lost paradise and as a passage to future eternal paradise. God visualized the blessed Trinity in the family set up (man, Adam + God + woman, Eve = husband + wife = family).

In the wedding episode of Isaac and Rebecca the unnamed servant who faithfully carries out the whole process of marriage is referred to as type of Holy Spirit, Gen 24:10-66. So long as we fail to comprehend this divine principle and willfully submit to it we cannot and will not be able to fulfill our obligations as parents. Life in paradise was so pleasant that they never lacked anything. Everything went well until a third character, other than God, without consent of the other partner intruded in their life, we call him Satan, who destroyed their bliss and turned everything into turmoil. Even today mankind is reeling under the dastardly effects of this unauthorized intrusion. In the present day's culture too, third character's entry in the life of 'two' is the main reason for family break-ups and manifold afflictions that follow. US News Sept 24.1990 says, "50% of black children in the country and 80% in New York alone live without father." "There are 1.1 Million single fathers in US. 50% of the divorces are due to the new extra marital relationships developed in the work places," Dr. James Dobson in 'focus on the family,' April 9.97. St Paul equates the relationship of husband and wife to that of Christ and Church and adds that it is nothing but a great mystery, Eph Ch 5. Christ is the perfect embodiment of selfless love and self-sacrifice. Affectionate relationship between husband and wife need not necessarily depend on sexual gratification alone, which is an alien concept in these days. Intimacy in family relationship cannot exist nor flourish without self-emptying unconditional love, self-sacrifice, mutual trust and unqualified commitment to spouse. However, divine presence is indispensable for these elements to function harmoniously, so as not to create any imbalance. Marriage is not a casual relationship, as many contemplate in these days, but a dignified vocation. 'Marriage is an institution, not a romance; it is a way of life, not a passion; it is not rainbow, but hodden-gray,' says Earnest Barker in "Values of life."

We see a lot of family models in the Holy Bible. Psalm 128 is a lucid and candid narration of a model family as a well-grown garden. Husband is the full-grown, matured olive tree; wife is the vine crept over the olive tree, not as parasite but as ornament and the children are the healthy, growing olive plants. No doubt, this is a prototype of heaven. The responsibility of keeping harmonious and blessed relation in the family is vested upon husband. He should do so by fearing the Lord. He must place God first in everything he does. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you," Matt 6:33. His actions must conform to the divine standards. He should transmit Godly principles of honesty, affection, love, forgiving, discipline, obedience, etc to the entire household. He is a mediator between God and members of the family. He should consult God in prayer and seek His guidance before commissioning or implementing anything. He ought to behave responsibly and in blameless way as if he were type of Christ. Such people shall eat the fruit of their labor; rather, the husband who does not fear God nor keep His commandments may not get desired results of his labor. Egocentric people are more prone to sustained failures. God-fearing people are promised with 'happiness.' Happiness is a state of blessedness. But nowadays, most people seek their own asylums, independent of God, and end up in alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, etc.

Some others conceive economic independence, opulence, social position, education, physical attractiveness, etc as vehicles to happiness. All these things may be helpful to grow in self-esteem or offer some momentary pleasure, nevertheless, there will always remain a sense of dissatisfaction or worthlessness. This is the same solitude that Adam felt when he lost paradise, for man is created in a different way from all other animals. The 'Word' of His mouth created animals. He said so and they were made, Gen 1: 9-23. But man was created after a discussion and consent within the Holy Trinity. He was created in the image and the likeness of Trinity. "And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness..." Gen 1: 26. The first part, "God said" is singular that denotes "oneness of God" (God is one) and the second part, "Let us" and "our image" and "our likeness" are plural numbers and that plurality we call, "Trinity. " One God is known in three personalities (K'noome, in Syriac) "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." or "Triune God." This is evident from the fact that man (includes woman also) possesses body, mind and spirit. Secondly, God's own hands formed him. He was not created by command, though it was quite possible for God to do so. He did not opt that way. This adduces that man, unlike other animals, is a special creation and that he is very important to God. For this reason man can never enjoy his life in abundance without the active presence of God, his creator, sustainer and emancipator.

Understanding this immutable truth will invariably unravel many riddles of life; namely, why possessions of huge wealth, social status, education, beauty and such other worldly accomplishments do not bring in the desired level of happiness. Recorded history, contemporary happenings, and stories of acclaimed persons of fame are full with discontentment, failures, turmoil and feeling of wantonness. Why? St Augustine said, "My heart will never rest until I rest in thee." Jesus said, "abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bare fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine. You are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit, for without me you can do nothing," John 15:4-5. "Happy are the people whose God is Lord," Ps 144: 15 and Prov. 16: 20.

Man who fears the Lord and finds happiness in the Lord is endowed with a wife, who shall be like fruitful vine beside his house, is a beautiful simile. Wine is symbolic of life, John 2:4-10, Ezk.19: 10. Faithful and God fearing wife can convert a barren house into a home of abundance where Christ lives. Christians are familiar with St. Monica whose saintly life converted Patricia, her pagan husband and Augustine, her son. Psalmist recognizes that a devoted wife can make real difference in a home. Proverb's chapter 31 is an exemplary homily on good wife. Shakespeare said, 'woman can become an angel as also Satan next moment, can make heaven a hell and hell a heaven.' Unlike many other tropical plants vine needs constant care. Systematic soil preparation, spreading manure, watering, pruning and spraying insecticides at regular intervals are necessary if it should give good results. Similarly, wife deserves attention such as love, respect, self- esteem, cooperation and independence to grow profitably.

Another characteristic of vine is that it grows in abundance only in warm weather. It will be dormant in winter. Husband has to provide favorable atmosphere in the home, pursue right values and proper discipline based on mutually acceptable principles. A husband offering winter attitude would never expect spring blossom; for, he won't get it. Winter cold and spring blossom cannot coexist. Another characteristic of vine is that it is a creeping plant. Creeper needs support, failing which will result in wild growth. This not only spoils the beauty of the plant and wastes more area of land but also bears fewer fruits that will be unpleasant to everyone and it will be eventually shattered. Husband should support his wife at all times. Wine extracted out of fruits of vine has medicinal value. 1Tim 5: 23. Misuse can be dangerous, Prov. 20: 1. Uncontrolled use is forbidden, Eph 5: 18, 1 Tim 3:3, Lev 10:9. A properly cared and loved wife can rectify many malfunctions in the family and in the society as a whole and the opposite will prove the opposite, sometimes even fatal.

Lord fearing man is further gifted with children, like olive plants around the table. Comparison of children with olive plants generates many sublime thoughts. Firstly, plants tent to grow. They need nurturing, and call for all the essentials mentioned in the preceding paragraph. Secondly, plants are a source of pleasure at all times. Olive is mentioned in the H. Bible as symbol of healing and soothing. Olive oil is used in baptism and to anoint the sick. Children are a source of happiness in the home. They are to be nurtured and motivated properly. Time magazine dated Oct 8 1990 wrote, "Parents who do not spent time with their children often spent money instead." In the industrialized environment parents turn busy finding their jobs and pleasures and hardly spent time with children, instead, they buy costly toys, forgetting that those lifeless toys cannot substitute their presence. "In a recently reported opinion poll 67% where both parents work said they go for work just for choice and not due to financial constraints." Focus on the family radio April 9.97. Evidently, in such cases parents are neglecting their basic duty of raising their children. Raising children in Godly manner so that they become useful assets to the parents, society, nation and God should invariably be the first and best of all other priorities and aversion to this time tested principle will prove fatal to both the parents and the children. Apparently, many children grow up in loneliness.

Mother Theresa once said, "Loneliness is America's greatest poverty." Compelled by loneliness they seek reachable alternatives and finally end up in television shows, computer plays, rock music, spurious publications, sinister relations, addiction to alcohol, drug abuse and so on. The harmful habits grow parallel to their physical growth. ABC reported on 5.5.97 morning news 'health check,' "There are good news and bad news. The good news is that people live longer. The bad news is that life is not happier because of the ill-health due to continued and excessive use of alcohol and drugs." Parents would never know until they reach rebellious state. Parents ought to know that the children are none but their replica and they will imitate what the parent do and speak. Psychological experts agree that an adult brings out in action and thought what he/she has acquired as a child between the age of 2 to 5 years. They also found that there are three stages of development for a child:

TThis most reckless stage develops a false pretense and thinks, more often than not, parents do not know much better. Here begins great set back, rather, parents reaping harvest of their own actions in the past. We are inclined to search for more worldly delights than God because of the fallen nature of mankind and its end result will be chaos and eternal perdition. God Almighty does not want all that happen to us. He wants us to grow profitably in Him and hence He gave His unfailing statutes for the benefit of mankind. The very purpose of choosing and appointing Abraham as father of many nations was that he "Shall command his children and his household after him, that they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment," Gen 18:19. "Take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons," Deut 4: 9. "And thou shall teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up," Deut 6:7. Apostle admonishes us to, "Bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord," Eph 6:4. And that, "We have had human fathers who corrected us and we paid them respect, Eph 12:9. "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it, Prov 22: 6

However, no one would appreciate any kind of discipline in the first place because it will be painful when administered but it will yield peaceful fruits of righteous in the future that will bring respect and honor to those imparting training, Heb 12: 11. I would add that those children, who were brought up without due discipline when they were yet unknowing good and evil, will, by all chances hate their parents; neither pay respect nor bring honor as they grow up spoiled. Such dereliction of duties from parents is defiance against the clear instructions (quoted above) of God. And the results will be, "Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon children and upon children's children, unto the third and to the forth generations," Ex 34: 7, Num 14: 18. For instance, Uzziah the king "Did that which was right in the sight of the Lord." He became excessively famous, wealthy and neighboring kings respected him and gave gifts. "When he was strong his heart was lifted up to his destruction; for he transgressed against the Lord his God, and went into the temple of the Lord to burn incense upon the altar of incense." The priests under the leadership of Azariah went and told him not to do so as it was the duty of only priests but he did not yield. While holding incense in his hands he became a leper and according to the custom, he was cut off from the house of the Lord and spent rest of his life in solitary confinement, 2 Chr 26: 4-21. His son Jotham, as a child, was a mute witness to all that had happened to his father and developed a fear psychosis in his growing mind. He, as king, became very precarious about the affairs of the temple. He did everything right in the sight of the Lord, but he never entered into the temple of the Lord. His absence caused people to corrupt, 2 Chr 27: 2. Ahaz the son of Jotham, as child, never saw his father going to the temple. He saw corruption in the temple. He was never taught to seek the way of the Lord. No wonder, he developed extreme animosity towards temple and the Lord. So, he did not do that which was right in the sight of the Lord. He made molten images of Bali. He burnt incense in the valley of sons of Hinnom, burnt his children in the fire. The result; God delivered him into the hands of the king of Syria who smote him and then in the hands of the king of Israel who also smote him with great slaughter of his sons and households, 2 Chr 28: 1-6.

Take heed of the failures; generations suffered as a result of parents' misdeeds! Abraham deceived Egyptians, Abimelech telling lie concerning Sarah, Gen 12: 11-20, Gen 20. Isaac his son repeated the same error concerning Rebecca, Gen 26: 7. Jacob went a step further and deceived his blind father Isaac and brother. His sons virtually deceived Jacob concerning Joseph. Jacob was compelled to believe like a blind while he was still not blind, Gen 37: 32-35. We can dig out numerous instances to corroborate that children will do the same or even worse at times what the parents do or speak. Therefore beware, 'time and tide will wait for none,' teach ways of the Lord when the child is very young.

I would suggest that parents ought to nurture them religiously. The problem is that we are in a situation where religion is negatively influencing. At the same time we must admit that church also has substantial responsibility in molding the character of children. This can be achieved through Sunday school where Bible, prayer, liturgy, faith matters, moral, ethics, values, life story of fathers and so on are taught. Parents, priests and church leaders should join hand in hand to achieve this pursuit. By no means this is a lesser task. I suggest even adult education through conventions, seminars and retreats so that parents can equip themselves to deal with the situations. However, this does not mean that children brought up in church education do not turn bad. I do not mean that children brought up in very congenial background would always be perfect. Do our part and leave rest to God. Bertrand Russell, a known anti-Christian, who authored a book, "why I am not a Christian" had a Christian background. His mother was a committed Christian. Sigmund Freud, who said against God's existence as, "fairy tales of religion" and about religion, "religion as a universal obsessional child neurosis" and "religion is a mere illusion derived from human wishes" was brought up in a strong religious background.

A.T. Kovoor, founder of rational movement, also came from a very religious family. His father was a priest. Dr. Robert Coles, author and psychologist, describes that some children suffered from obsessive and destructive habits that were related to their childhood education and due to their deep commitment on certain religious conceptions. David Larson, renowned psychologist says, "Research shows that religiously inclined and those coming from religious back ground suffer less psychological problems. They recoup faster. Those who regularly go to church are less disturbed in emotional encounters," Reported on 'firm foundations' radio on 5.5. 97. What model we should emulate in upbringing of children, is a confusing question. Bernard Hoffman, expert on youth, offers the following tips. "(1) More parenting courses. (2) More parental involvement beginning at birth. (3) School-required anger management classes. (4) Good adult role models," Bucks county Courier Times dated 5.7.97. These suggestions though mainly based on secular concept they apply to spiritual context also. Opportunities are bleak to receive the warmth of grand parents' love these days due to various constraints but that grand parents are the best source of molding children's habits is an undeniable fact. Truly, faith as well as values is traditionally handed down from forefathers to grandparents and to parents and to children. "When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, I am persuaded is in you also," 2 Tim 1: 5.

CJews refused to worship Hellenistic Gods instead of Jehovah. They faced persecution at the hands of Antiochus (BC 175-164). A family of seven children and their mother Smoony were one by one threatened and subjected to torture by cutting off the organs, burning in fire and so on. Their mother Morth (Saint) Smooni encouraged them to defy the orders of the wicked king saying, "My sons, I do not know how you were formed in my womb. I am not the one who gave you life and soul. I did not give you shape and image you distinctly posses. He who is Creator of the whole universe, Creator of mankind, who knows every heart, created and formed you... Therefore give honor to your mother, be of courage, strength and cheer, and do not submit to the wicked king. Suffer the persecution and we will join together in glory," 2 Mac 7: 22-23. This is very powerful testimony and a role model worthy of emulation. Secondly, Hanna thus prayed, "Lord of hosts, if you will give thine handmaid a man-child, then I will give him unto the Lord," 1 Sam 1: 11 and she literally did so, verse 28. This is the kind of mothers (and fathers) who surrender to God in prayer, seek divine guidance before every action, dedicate the children to the will of God, instill spiritual life in them, disdain from all things that would bring discredit, feed them with Word of God, show them the right path, teach them the right values that are love, honor, trustworthiness, law abiding, good demeanor, and instruct them to respect others. "We have to see to it that the TV is turned off and our kids get into the books. We have to monitor their friendships and acquaintances. We have to teach them a solid work ethic and appreciation of their history. We have to provide the strong surrogate male Christian models they so desperately need. We have to show them how to save, spend and give... and how to reject the negative values thrust upon them," 'Guiding your family in a misguided world, By Dr. Anthony T Evans, page 169. '