“We are doing it together.” ‘‘What together?’ or ‘So what!” you may ask. It is a simple, but costly statement from a book on Christian leadership, ‘In the name of Jesus’, written by Henri Nouwen1. I owe it to a dear friend, Mini Krishnan of Oxford University Press, for introducing this spiritual giant to me. This is what friendship is all about opening up new channels for enjoying the grace and freedom of God. Nouwen’s life was an odyssey of deep and life changing involvement with others as he wrote in his dairies of his final year, “My heart was full of gratitude and affection, and I wish I could embrace each of my friends and let them know how much they mean to me and how much I miss them. I felt my whole being, body, mind, and spirit, yearning to give and receive love without condition, without fear, without reservation.”2 He had a wide spectrum of friends; some came from the world of wealth, abundance, power and influence, at the other end of the spectrum he moved at ease with ‘beautiful people’ who were radically poor, in dire needs, and close to death. Underneath the white light of this god-given friendships, he was able to find a rainbow-coloured spectrum of beautiful interactions of day to day realities of ‘doing it together.’ Friendship is all about planting and nurturing a relationship together and slowly removing brick by brick the ego boundaries people so carefully and painstakingly build, before them accidentally or providentially meet through the grace of God.

Nouwen was a Dutch Roman Catholic priest who as professor theology taught pastoral psychology, pastoral theology and spirituality for twenty years at Yale and Harvard, he also wrote more than fifty books. Then in the last few years of life, he shared his life with mentally disabled people at L’Arche Daybreak community, Toronto, Canada. He reflected on this move in these words1: “So I moved from Harvard to L’Arche, from the best and the brightest, wanting to rule the world, to men and women who had few or no words and were considered at best, marginal to the needs of the society. It was a hard painful move, and I am still in the process of making it.”

It was at this time he was asked to give a lecture on Christian leadership in the twenty-first century at the fifteenth anniversary of the Centre for Human Development in Washington D. C. For a professor from Harvard it would not have been a difficult task. However, he had a new reality to cop with, he was not at Harvard, he was not in an ivory tower, and he was living with day to day realities of a group of mentally handicapped people with different needs and aspirations. How does one talk about Christian leadership while helping marginalised people in a community? While preparing his presentation, he had the realisation that Jesus did not send his disciples alone to preach the word, he sent them two by two (Mark 6:7). Therefore he decided to take, Bill Van Bruen, a member of the Daybreak community with him to Washington to deliver his talk. Bill was not very articulate, had difficulties in expressing himself because of his mental disabilities. When Henri expressed his desire to take Bill with him to Washington to give this important talk on Christian leadership to a group of card carrying theologians and priests, he was overwhelmed by Henri’s kindness. Bill looked forward in anticipation about this most important assignment in his life. He enjoyed the prospect of ‘doing it together with’ Henri. During various times before the event, Bill used to remind Henri, “We are doing it together.” Suddenly, Bill became an important man to himself, as important as or even more important than Henri because they are preparing to give a talk together, which he has never done; no one, but no one, has ever asked him to do such an important thing in his life. There were occasions, far more than he could remember when others made him believe that he is a burden to the community. Now he has an opportunity to make a contribution.

Finally, the important day had arrived, Professor Henri Nouwen was introduced in flowery language to the audience and invited to give his talk, but they did not say anything about Bill at this stage. Henri moved to the podium and started to read from his hand written notes. But Henri had no clue about the practicalities of ‘doing it together’ with Bill, he did not know how to get Bill involved at that crucial moment during his talk. But Bill knew exactly what it meant and how to do it with aplomb; so he left his seat and stood behind Henri at the podium. Each time when Henri finished reading a page, Bill would come forward and take the page from his hand with great reverence and put upside down on a small table close by. When he heard some familiar part of the speech he interrupted to say, “It is a good one, I have heard that before,” and so forth. His spontaneous and down to earth comments were greatly appreciated by the audience. Finally, When Henri finished his presentation; Bill very politely moved forward and asked Henri, “Henri, can I say something now?” Without waiting for an answer, Bill took the microphone from Henri and said with all impediments in speaking, “Last time, when Henri went to Boston, he took John Smeltzer, another inmate of Daybreak community, with him. This time he wanted me to come with him to Washington, and I am very glad to be here with you. Thank you very much.” That was it, and that was what ‘doing it together’ meant to Bill. He did it with great dignity. At this moment, everyone stood up and gave him a thunderous applause. We worry about relevance, popularity and power in developing Christian leadership. This amazing story gives us the paradigm for ‘doing it together,’ and for building Christian lifestyles and leaderships.

Mission is a confused word, it is more about doing than saying. When John had doubts about Jesus’ ministry and sent two of his disciples to question Jesus; Jesus simply said to them, “Go back and tell John what you have seen and heard” (Luke 7: 20-23). It was not an armchair philosophy or arm’s length charity or cheque book giving. Jesus was involved with them in an one-to-one basis to make the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear, the lepers to become clean and whole. This was a servant-leader who did not keep a safe distance from those whom he came to serve. Now there is quite a safe distance between pulpit and pews. Some of our Christian leaders, I say some and not all, have become mere agents for collecting money from parishes and handing over to other agencies and they begin to think that this is the ultimate God’s work. Involvement with people is what is needed. Our Lord showed the importance of washing the feet of the disciples; Mother Teresa showed us the need to touch the wounded and dressing their wounds. But now, we keep them at a distance and keep them in their ditches or build walls around them and segregate them in well marked enclaves called mission fields.

Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a very safe distance form the people who live in the margins of society; there is a great distance between centre and periphery as there was a great distance from Jerusalem to Galilee during Jesus’ ministry. The day of cheque book charity is numbered; responsibility is no more an abstraction; it is to live in the middle and getting engaged with people with whom we need to build a relationship. Building houses for tsunami victims or the homeless in our community is not enough, we should be prepared to live in one of them for a while to appreciate the problems and build real empathy with them and get a feel for the cause. This is not a one-sided gesture because when Nouwen1 moved from Harvard to the Daybreak community he learnt about their unique gifts and graces, he wrote: “They teach me about joy and peace, love and care and prayer – what I could never have learned in any academy. They also teach me what no body else could have taught me, about grief and violence, fear and indifference. Most of all they gave me a glimpse of God’s first love, often at moment when I get depressed and discouraged.” This is the amazing benefit of ‘doing it together’ brings to our lives. These opportunities are a gift from God.

“If two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father, in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I am there among them” (Matthew18: 19-20). We do not agree on anything and no wonder why our prayers do not produce the effect it should. Mission has become a very tired word because of this failure in developing intimate relationship with people who need help of one sort or another. Many mission field workers are now interested in popularity and building power structures. Mission fields have become constituencies for greater achievements and political manoeuvring. However, doing it together means a willingness to go with, stand together, and to do together things in a most unsheltered way under the guidance of divine grace. In a similar way, let us pray together and work together for developing a new attitude in Christ of humility in giving and generosity for receiving.

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